Saturday, July 12, 2008

Entry for August 02, 2007

Past and present

My Grandmother is staying with my family for a week. My mom is her youngest daughter.

She reminds me of the chapter in English that I learnt in my twelfth std., My Grandmother by Kushwant Singh.

My grandmother is very old. And just like Kushwant Singh’s Grandmother she has been this old since I can remember .Her face too is like parched land full of crisscrosses. But she is very pretty. They say none of her grandchildren have got her looks.

I always think about my old age. When I am… say 80. I guess I would have lost all the energy and passion in life. I would be so cut off from life. I would probably have no clue as to what is happening in the world. My eyesight would have grown poor and I wouldn’t be able to read even the newspaper. May be I wouldn’t be able to walk also…maybe I would be confined to the four wall of some room, me who is a claustrophobic!!

I would be this person who always broods and talks about illness.

My Grandmother by God’s grace can look after herself. And she manages to read the headlines of Malayala Manorama with her specs.

She always tries to adjust with life. She doesn’t complain too much. But I know…she has lost the aptitude for life. Now who wouldn’t if you have absolutely nothing to do, nobody to talk to during the day and you spent life doing ‘nothing’. Now those days when I was waiting for my results after my college ,when I had absolutely nothing to do, I had become disgusted with life. I can’t blame my grandma who has been sitting at home doing nothing much for years.

I was reading the newspaper and having my breakfast. She was sitting near me.I know she likes to know what’s happening in the world these days. She likes to be updated. I tried to make some conversation. I told her I would read the newspaper and brief her on the happenings. I am reading The Hindu.

Okay the front page news is Brazil for IBSA link to mercosur..hmmm I don’t think she would be interested…I brush thru..ok” amma the num of people with chikungunya is coming down”. She is interested. I turn the page.”amma they are making a waste disposal plant at Brahmapuram. The work will begin by next feb.” she tells me that at the plant they wud crush the waste and turn it into manure.she adds that eventhough they say its feb its going to take atleast 5 years. With education till 4th standard I guess her explanation is pretty good. I smile. ”amma have you heard of Japan” she nods. ‘well there Has been an earthquake. 6 people died. But Japanese know that there place is earthquake prone. so they have made quake resistant buildings. Now she smiles.

I have heard Kamala Suraiyya sharing my fear of old age in one of her interviews. But she finds solace in the fact that even if u lose your eyesight, sense of hearing, you still can dream. and thru your dreams u can live. I guess I should try to live sensibly and should do things that I really want to so that I can dream about them when I am 80.

2 comments:

The one who has loved and lost said...

That was beautiful.... :-)
I had not come to ur page for days..the new format looks much better..encourages the visitor to read :-)

Indu David said...

@the layman
Thanks! Ya atlast my page looks readable.